WHAT IS POST-TRAUMATIC GROWTH?

There’s a phrase I’ve been sitting with lately: Post-Traumatic Growth. Not healing. Not bouncing back. But growth—because of what was endured. It’s the idea that in the aftermath of pain, adversity, or trauma, something meaningful can still emerge. Not in a toxic positivity way. Not in an “everything happens for a reason” kind of way. But in a deeper, more honest truth: transformation is possible, even after our hardest seasons.

I really want to take a moment to dive into this catchphrase that’s been looming in my mind—the polarity of what can be found and developed on the other side of Post-Traumatic Stress, and how we can begin to cultivate it and integrate it into our mental muscle memory.

What Is Post-Traumatic Stress, and Does It Have to Be “Capital T” Trauma?

The truth is, trauma doesn’t always show up as a dramatic, life-threatening event. While “Capital T” Trauma—like abuse, war, or natural disasters—can absolutely cause post-traumatic stress, so can the quieter, more subtle experiences we often overlook. Chronic criticism, emotional neglect, being dismissed, growing up in a high-stress environment, or feeling like you had to earn love to feel safe—these are all forms of what’s sometimes called “little t” trauma. They may not seem extreme, but they can still overwhelm your nervous system, shape your beliefs about yourself, and hardwire you for living in survival-mode.

Post-traumatic stress is not about how “big” the event was—it’s about how deeply it impacted your sense of safety, identity, and connection. You don’t have to justify your pain to heal it. Whether loud or quiet, trauma is valid if it made you disconnect from yourself. And healing is the process of coming back to the safe space inside of you called home.

What Is Post-Traumatic Growth?

Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) is the positive psychological change that can occur after struggling through a life-altering experience. It’s not about returning to “who you were before,” but rather becoming someone new—someone with a stronger sense of purpose, deeper relationships, clearer values, or a more authentic connection to life. It’s about finding meaning and internal sunshine after the storm.

Researchers identify five key outcomes of PTG:

• A greater appreciation of life

• Deeper relationships and empathy

• Increased personal strength

• Spiritual or existential growth

• New possibilities and priorities

How Do We Cultivate It?

Post-traumatic growth doesn’t come from the trauma itself—it grows from how we respond to it. The soil of growth is found in self-reflection, meaning-making, and gentle integration. It requires us to ask ourselves hard questions:

• What did I learn about myself through this pain?

• What parts of me did this experience reveal, test, or reshape?

• What do I value more deeply now than I did before?

One practical tool I return to often is journaling or audio recording. Set a timer for 20 minutes and write or speak about a difficult experience—not from the perspective of what went wrong, but from the lens of what wisdom it may have offered you. You’re not erasing the pain; you’re reframing the narrative. You’re saying, “This changed me—and here’s how.” When we shift our inner language from victimhood to agency — even subtly — we invite growth.

Examples of Narrative Reframing to Change The Story:

“Why does this always happen to me?”
Reframe: “What is this trying to teach me about what I’m ready to face, feel, or change?” - This shift invites self-inquiry, not self-pity. It opens the door to growth instead of staying stuck in the loop.

“That broke me.”
Reframe: “That hurt me deeply, but it didn’t destroy me. I’m still here — and I’m using this pain to grow something powerful.” - This honors your experience while reclaiming your strength. You’re not broken — you’re becoming.

“I’ll never be enough.”
Reframe: “I am already worthy — even as I grow. My enoughness is not up for debate." - This honors your inherent value, separate from perfection or performance. It calls in compassion and grounded self-worth.

“No one ever shows up for me.”
Reframe: “I am learning to show up for myself first — and I’m calling in people who reflect that same care.” - This reclaims your power without ignoring the ache. It also sets a new energetic standard for relationships.

“Everything I do falls apart.”
Reframe: “Things may not have worked out how I hoped, but I’m still here — evolving, learning, and building differently.” - This validates the pain without letting it define your identity. It reminds you that the process is progress.

“It’s too late for me.”
Reframe: “I can start from exactly where I am. My timing is sacred, not a mistake.”
- This brings tenderness to time and trust to your journey. It centers hope without ignoring the hurt.

“They broke my heart.”
Reframe: “Yes, my heart was broken — but now I get to rebuild it with more truth, more wisdom, and more love for myself.” - This shift transforms betrayal into self-relationship. It affirms that healing is yours to own, not theirs to repair.

"In all of these examples, the common thread is this: pain was present—but so was possibility."

Real-World Applications

PTG might look like leaving a toxic relationship and finally choosing yourself. It might mean starting a passion project after a job loss. It might show up as deeper empathy for others after facing your own mental health struggles. It might be setting new boundaries, trusting your voice, or rediscovering joy after grief.

So if you’re moving through something hard—or still carrying the aftershocks of a past season—know this: you are not defined by what happened to you, but by what you choose to build from it. Let growth be your quiet rebellion. Let your story evolve. Let your scars speak not just of survival—but of strength, depth, and rebirth.

You are the architect, developing and designing the life you want from the raw materials this world has given you. I know this can feel like a daunting task—one that’s almost too scary to pursue. But as someone who has lived it and is still building as I go, I promise you this: the discomfort and pain of stretching beyond who you were to become who you’re meant to be is so worth it.

And I’ll leave you with this — maybe the most powerful truth about the journey of expansion: you can never grow backwards. You outgrow the old version of yourself, becoming too big to fit into your former experience. In that growth, you move from hurting… to healing… to helping — and that is the ultimate expression of love in ascension.

Your friend,
Danny