THE COMPARISON TRAP & HOW TO BREAK FREE

Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others?

Let’s be real—comparison is part of being human. Our ancestors needed to know where they stood in the tribe to survive. But in today’s world, this instinct can work against us. We’re constantly stacking ourselves up against filtered versions of other people’s lives, and it’s messing with our confidence. 

I know for me, I battle with comparison, especially when it comes to outcomes. One of my biggest comparison traps comes in the form of a question that likes to jump out and haunt me: "That person is so far ahead—why am I so far behind?" The perceived distance between them and me in areas like success, business, family, wisdom, intellect, and purpose can feel like a heavy weight on my soul.

The Distortion Comparison Creates

Comparison is a trap because it’s never a fair fight. We see someone else’s highlight reel while living through our own behind-the-scenes. That distorted view breeds self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and the feeling that we’re somehow falling behind. The truth? No one has it all figured out, no matter how polished their life looks on the surface. The bank, the bag, the business, the body—it all takes incredibly hard work, but we sensationalize the idea of it coming effortlessly. Instant gratification is a sexy sell, but the hard work tends to stay on the shelf.

Does Comparison Serve a Purpose?

Yes—but only if we use it the right way. Comparison can either crush us or push us forward. It can show us what’s possible, inspire growth, and give us a nudge toward our goals. The key is shifting from a mindset of lack to one of empowerment.

"Stop acting like you're an extra when you're the main character. Shift the focus to yourself so you can see your perception with clarity."

Catch Yourself in the Act – When you start comparing, pause. Ask yourself, “Is this lifting me up or tearing me down?” If it’s the latter, it’s time to shift lenses.

Filter Your Feed & Your Life – The content you consume matters. Follow people who inspire you, not those who trigger self-doubt. Surround yourself with voices that fuel your confidence, not drain it. Intentionally build and nurture dynamic relationships that aren’t one-sided, skewed, or inconsistent, but rooted in reciprocity. Encouragement from someone who knows you and whom you trust can jolt you back into your reality rather than lusting over someone else's illusion.

Turn Envy into Action – Instead of feeling bad about someone else’s success, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this? How can I apply this in my own way?” This was a hard one for me because, a few years ago, it felt like all of my friends were winning—and I wasn’t. Some found the love of their life, others stumbled upon that one ingredient that drastically scaled their business, and some discovered inner peace unlike anything I could have imagined. But the more I learned to pour love into what brought them joy rather than silently tear it down, the more I found joy and success in my own realm. We are magnetic beings—what we give is what we get.

Focus on Your Wins – Every day, write down three things you love about yourself. Train your brain to recognize your own greatness instead of seeking validation from the outside. Focus on you—not what that other person has, does, or looks like, but your own intrinsic qualities and character. Those things that make you different are the things that make you stand out, and that's what you, me, and we need to lean into.

Measure Backward, Not Sideways – The only person you should compare yourself to is past you. Look at how far you’ve come, not at how far someone else appears to be.

Create, Don’t Just Consume – Pour your energy into your craft, your passions, and what makes you unique. When you’re in your zone, comparison fades into the background.

Practice Gratitude Daily – Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s already amazing in your life. Every time comparison creeps in, counter it with a moment of gratitude. Stop, breathe, look around, and absorb all that surrounds you. Acknowledge that everything you have was once something you wanted. Appreciation for what is prepares us to love what is coming.

Reclaim Your Power

A profound mental shift happens when you trade comparison for comprehension—when you stop measuring yourself against others and start understanding why you feel the way you do. That awareness becomes a tool, a bridge that takes you from frustration and disappointment to clarity and momentum. Instead of letting comparison drain you, it fuels you. It dissolves the sting of what you think you lack and fills that space with gratitude for what you already have. Whenever I sense the unwelcome presence of comparison creeping in, I return to this prayer—one that poured out of me in the friction of wishing I was further along:

"Thank you, God, for who I've been, who I am, and who I am becoming. Thank you, God, for where I've been, where I am, and where I am going. All is perfect in this moment, and I am exactly where my divine path has led me. I am on my sacred journey of ascension. No matter how behind I may feel or how far I know I’ve come, right here, right now, is all that matters. And right here, right now, is perfect."

Comparison isn’t going anywhere—but how we handle it is up to us. Instead of letting it steal our joy, we can flip the script and use it as fuel for growth. When we shift the focus inward—on our progress, our strengths, and our unique path—comparison loses its grip. You’re not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be. Keep building, keep growing, and keep showing up as the best version of you.

Your friend,

Danny